A Gift Guide for The Girls
It's the most wonderful time of the year
I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving Indigenous Peoples’ Day and accompanying long weekend last week! Now that that’s over, we can proceed to discussing one of my favorite topics: spending money. As stated before, I love to shop, and this time of year is the best time to do it, because buying gifts is a selfless act, no? (Never mind that something for me typically manages to find its way into my cart – that’s between me and my bank statement, so mind ya business.)
Between the Barbie movie, Beyoncé and Taylor Swift’s blockbuster tours, and grown-ass women declaring they were Team Conrad or Team Jeremiah after watching The Summer I Turned Pretty, the girls really girled this year, so it makes sense to wrap things up with a gift guide just for them. Now, let’s get into it:
None of these links are affiliates, but I have disclosed gifted products.
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Rat Girl: Your Party Girl Bestie Who DGAF
1. Do Your Tequila DIY Tequila Making Kit - $53.91 sale ($59.90 full)
Spice up the pregame with infused tequilas from this DIY kit. I gifted this to a friend who works at a distillery and she loved it – literally started infusing ASAP. Shots of the resulting tequilas ended up going down pretty easy – but, of course, we all know the rat girl isn’t drinking for taste.
2. Pinch Provisions Glitter Bomb Minimergency Kit - $21.00
This kit comes stocked with literally everything you might need in a pinch, ranging from fashion tape, bandages, earring backs, mouthwash, and a mending kit, including much more. It’s very mini, to be sure, but I like that it can be tucked into a larger bag without taking up much space. It’s gotten me out of trouble many times, and it’s clutch for the rattie who’s always finding herself in random ass places.
3. Handmade Balaclava - $35.00
Keep your face warm in the cold – and commit crimes sans detection 😇.
4. Poseur Cones from Burner Babe - $10.00
For the stoner rat girl who doesn’t know how to roll (like all hot girls.)
Burner Babe sponsored the The Mischief party over the summer – but I’m sure it’s not a stretch to believe that I actually love a brand that makes pink, Barbie-themed rolling papers.
5. Cocoa Asante Holiday Variety Pack - $17.95
Something to nibble on in between scurrying excursions. Premium, ethically-sourced chocolate from a Black woman-owned business – naturally I’m a fan.
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Fox Girl: The Girlie Getting Her Shit Together
1. Clever Fox Pro Weekly Planner - $38.49
I’m not being cutesy here – this Clever Fox planner actually changed my life. Aside from giving me a way to aggregate my assorted notes app and Post It to do lists, the habit trackers, weekly review sections, and long term goal pages have given me so much direction as I reluctantly accept the fact that I am a grown-up.
2. Apollo Box Retro Alarm Clock & Bluetooth Speaker - $40.62
For the fox girl finally solidifying that 5 AM wakeup habit (and lowering her ungodly screentime hours 😬)
3. Tote Savvy Bag Organizer - $70.00
As a Tote Bag Girlie, this really changed the game for me: I can now easily find my shit instead of profusely apologizing to cashiers while I rummage around my bag looking for my phone or wallet. Slightly pricy when you consider that it’s literally just a flap of fabric with assorted pockets, but so worth it imho.
4. Masterclass 2-for-1 Membership - $15/mo
I had a Masterclass membership for years, and the subscription paid for itself many times over. I took online classes on anything from cooking, storytelling, and entrepreneurship from experts like Issa Rae, Gordon Ramsay, and Shonda Rhimes, among others. Perfect for the Fox Girl mid-mental glow-up – and you too, if you take advantage of the platform’s two-for-one holiday promotion.
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Dormant Girl: The Homebody Hibernating for the Winter
1. Minimalist Chubby Mug and Saucer - $33.99
These have been on my wishlist ever since I saw them at a stranger’s apartment post-rave (it was Rat Girl Summer, remember? lmao). Ideal for sipping hot cocoa while celebrating your retirement from the streets.
2. Le Puzz Have a Groovy Day Puzzle - $38.00
I’ve been a grandma avid puzzler since early lockdown (if this sounds lame, I invite you to remember that I’ve given up on being cool) and Le Puzz’s quirky, colorful puzzles are some of my faves. Though I’ve yet to graduate to 1000 pieces, I’m sure your local Dormant Girl has – after all, she’s inside all season.
3. Uncommon Goods Mismatched Crew Socks - $20.00
Cute and cozy, which is, of course, the vibe.
4. MyTherabox 3 Month Subscription - $113.97 ($37.00/month).
Pricy, so maybe save for the girlie you love the most – you – but I love Therabox’s self care subscription boxes, which come filled with lots of lush little wellness goodies: think face masks, CBD drops, teas, affirmation decks – things like that. Each box has a true value of around $200, so the subscription does end up being quite a steal.
5. Lola Kolade x Reductress Dormant Girl Winter Sweatshirt - $50.00
Insert shameless plug: the official Dormant Girl Winter sweatshirt from my collab with Reductress. Cop oversized for max cocoon vibes.
And, as a bonus (and my personal fave):
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Wicked Woman: She’s Grown, a Bitch, and Made Her Peace With It
(Can’t wait to be her tbh)
1. It’s Okay to be a Bitch Sometimes Print - $31.00+
As if she needed a reminder.
2. Baby I’m a Goddess Necklace - $50.00
To let the masses know what’s really good. It’s 18K Gold, for all my immi girls whose moms told them they were “allergic” to gold-plated jewelry 💀. (As an aside, I’m a huge fan of designer Rinny Riot’s retro-inspired graphic design work – sooo good.)
3. Tipsy Turvy Bar Glass Set - $32.95 (set of two)
Ideal for drinking the tears of your enemies displaying on your Arch Digest-ready bar cart (like I said – she’s grown!)
4. Highly Liquid NY Finance Bro Baby Tee - $55.00
To wear to the bars and wreak havoc, as she should. I was gifted one of these by the brand, but again – should be easy to believe I actually love it!
As always, the best gifts are the ones that money can’t buy – like indulging in clownery with your loved ones, going braless, and being harmlessly shady in the group chat – but I hope this helps the girlies who wanna spend a lil coin! Let me know what you’re gifting the girls/gals/gurls in your life (or yourself) and I’ll see you next week to talk about New Year’s Resolutions (ugh).
Until next Sunday,
Lola xx