Bro's a Yapper

on whose voice deserves to be heard

I had a troll find my TikTok earlier this week, the rabid kind who scrolls down your profile leaving hate on dozens of videos (anonymously, of course). This has happened to me before – I’m a Black woman on the internet – but I’ve kept thinking about this person for the last couple days because of the nature of his comments. The commenter, a child I presume, kept leaving variations of “bro’s a yapper” on my videos, which is more silly and annoying to me than offensive. If you’re unfamiliar with Gen-Z parlance (as I increasingly am – love being in my old bitch era), a yapper is someone who talks a lot about things that don’t matter, at least to my knowledge. I’ve seen it reclaimed by college students and other youths who self-ID as yappers, but I’ve also seen it wielded as a weapon in the comments sections of women, people of color, and members of other marginalized groups talking about their mistreatment. In those instances, it’s essentially a more juvenile way to tell someone to shut the fuck up, which I’d prefer, personally – I’m fluent in that language. 

It’s rare that I get comments that disagree with what I’ve said substantively, or in good faith. They usually jump to insults about my appearance, the sound of my voice, or the fact that I must be a hoe for stating that women should expect to be treated like human beings in their dealings with men (?). But occasionally I get comments of the yap variety, which always remind me why I started creating content in the first place: there’s a lot of people out there that don’t think my voice, or the voice of anyone who looks, thinks, acts like I do deserves to be heard. I don’t make content to prove them wrong (I killed my ego, remember?), but I do it for the other weird bitches who are languishing in silence, the stories they want to tell and  the art they want to make banging around in their heads because they are too afraid to be shamed for yapping. 

Of course, I am a firm proponent of making your shit and putting it out there, but I’m not gonna lie to you. A lot of people will encourage you to push past fear because “no one’s paying attention to you” and “no one cares what you’re doing” but that’s bullshit lmao. Here’s the real about putting yourself out there in any fashion: people are certainly going to talk shit. You will end up in a group chat or in the DMs being made fun of because you think you’re an influencer, or think you’re a comedian, or think you’re cool (these are all things that have been said about me btw.) Most people have a preconceived idea of who deserves a platform, whose perspective is valuable, and if you fall outside of that, you’re a useless yapper. This is especially common with people who “know” you, or rather knew you at some point – leftovers from high school, college, and old jobs who lurk on your social media – who are attached to an old version of you who is incongruous with the performer they see on the internet.  But now that we have the inevitability of shit-talking out of the way…what now? The DMs aren’t gonna kill you. The group chats aren’t gonna beat your ass. They will continue to buzz in the background while you get better and closer to your goals. 

There's a clip that was circulating on the internet a while ago, of the actor Michael B. Jordan being interviewed at an event. In it, the interviewer mentions that they “go way back,” since they went to the same high school.  Jordan replies, “yeah, corny kid, right?,” which the interviewer tries to play off as a joke. It turns out that she used to bully Jordan for being a theater kid and trying to get his acting career off the ground when they were kids. If you aren’t familiar with his career, he started off with a star-making turn on the critically-acclaimed HBO series The Wire as a teen, and is now an Emmy-nominated actor and producer. Not bad, right? Imagine if he’d quit back then because of the words of a high school bully. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: most of us are afraid of the wrong things. Who cares about judgment or mockery? What should really be shivering your timbers is the idea of not living the life you want because you’re afraid of the chatter of someone who would never be brave enough to do what you’re doing – I mean, most of these people are afraid of even showing their faces. I don’t know about you, but user3398832789234 with an anime profile pic isn’t gonna keep me from doing a damn thing. 

I will say this: believe whatever you need  to get started. If you have to believe that no one’s watching you or cares about you to get yourself to start making moves, then go ahead. But what’s more useful is to accept that people are watching and they are judging – and thanking them for it.  Because that means that there are eyes on you, and the more that happens, the greater likelihood you’ll reach the right eyes and ears – the audience that you want, the decision makers that can help you get to the next level. So talk your shit! Make your shit! That’s what life is all about, in my opinion. This essay probably could have been a little shorter, but I can’t help it  – bro’s a yapper!

Lola xx