It's a Socialite Summer
& How to Develop a God Complex. A two-fer on socializing & connecting with the divine within.
I was partaking in one of my favorite pastimes (complaining) when a wise man (my older brother) imparted some truth to me: there’s no money in the house. In context, what he was saying is that professional opportunities won’t knock on my door and find me: I will have to go out and meet people and be deliberate about networking (ugh) to find them. This is something that has almost completely fallen out of my life since becoming a freelancer and content creator, and the very thought of networking triggers flashbacks of awkward small talk and skirt suits from my past life in corporate America. But all my work in changing my mindset has been effective: I quickly realized that this is all a matter of perspective, and all networking is building relationships with people, and I’m always working on that anyway.
Like many people, my social life has not emerged unscathed following the late-twenties exodus to the ‘burbs and the almost-revulsion many people seem to feel toward putting energy into building and maintaining relationships post-Covid (or, post-lockdown, as Covid is very much still among us). Everyone is exhausted and a little mentally worse for wear, it’s true – and perhaps that’s why so many of us are unwilling to do any more work, even if that work is cultivating a community around us. I’m not innocent in this – I have enough fizzled out almost-friendships killed by flakiness that I’ve comfortably retreated into hermitude instead making the effort. But the fact remains that I believe we are supposed to be doing life with other people, and not just romantic partners and the coworkers I don’t really have anymore. So this summer I have decided to enter my socialite season, which means I am outside until further notice. I thought on the possibility of having another Rat Girl Summer, but it’s no longer the right fit, I fear; it appears I’ve moved up the food chain.
Like any socialite, I will primarily be concerned with throwing fits and matching cocktails to my attire. Serious matters have been shelved and will be attended to in the fall. Beyond that, the rules are simple. Firstly, I must leave my home with the express intent to socialize at least three times a week and go to each event with an open mind. The emphasis here is on socializing – that is, chatting and actually hearing what’s being said, which means clubs are not on the agenda until the planets align themselves in just the right way or I end up in a foreign country (IJN 🙏🏾). Is this ambitious? Perhaps, but if there’s anywhere I can get this done it’s New York – and I figure there’s plenty of time to rot in bed and be a close-minded bitch when it’s cold out, so I’ll leave that for then. The second rule is that I have to keep working out at least four times a week, because if I plan to run the streets I simply have to keep my stamina up. As of this moment, I have no concrete goals for the experience – except indulging my mixy alter ego and putting myself in spaces where I can come into contact with new energy, which is all a new opportunity is – energy you’ve called in that matches the frequency of the energy you’re putting out.
All that to say – shit needs some shaking up! And because this is my life and apparently I’m in control of things (😬), I will have to be the one to do the shaking. Stay tuned for updates in the newsletter in addition to essays – I’m entering my blogging era, it seems!
How to Develop a God Complex
Earlier this year, I told a joke about how to get over insecurity by developing a raging God complex. In the months that have followed, I’ve fielded countless comments on how to do it, and since then I’ve been thinking about what it means to connect with the divine within, which is more my speed. (From this point on we will be getting a bit cosmic, so if that’s not your vibe…🤷🏾♀️)
I am of the mind that within each of us there is a piece of divinity, and connecting with it allows us to create ourselves and our lives in the ways we dream of. Consider what Aldous Huxley, the English writer and philosopher, wrote on spiritual awakening: “The spiritual journey does not consist of arriving at a new destination where a person gains what he did not have, or becomes what he is not. It consists in the dissipation of one’s own ignorance concerning oneself and life, and the gradual growth of that understanding which begins the spiritual awakening. The finding of God is a coming to one’s self.”
When we go within and learn about ourselves – interrogate our beliefs, what we want and why we want it, what we value and why we value it – we develop my tongue-in-cheek version of a God complex: an ability to tap into the divine within us, the part of us that has access to the possibilities we can’t yet see but have the power to make material. When we know who we are, we have the power to do what has never been done before, what others may claim is impossible. So let’s do it. Here’s how to develop a God Complex:
Ascend
Why would a heavenly being be concerned with earthly bullshit? So many of us are letting things that simply do not matter prevent us from progressing in life, things like imposter syndrome, the fear of being seen, or the fear of judgment. But these things are inconsequential. As I’ve said many times before, people might talk shit, but they’ll never beat your ass. Leave all that on the ground and focus on the heavens.
Create
Gods are creators, not reactors – and the divinity within us gives us access to that creative power. It’s way too easy to blink and wake up five years later, suddenly realizing you’ve been passively letting life jostle you about instead of taking action. (If you don’t believe me, look into the pandemic skip.) Start taking control of what you can take control of, and in my experience, soon enough you’ll have power over more and more of your circumstances. Make a move – you don’t need anyone’s permission. Shout out to free will!
Stay Cosmic
Keep your head in the clouds. Don’t let other people’s notions of what’s possible hold you back. After all, why would a celestial creature care about what’s “realistic” on earth? So much of what is commonplace to us now was once thought to be impossible – airplanes, women’s (extremely tenuous) liberation, gaucho pants inexplicably making a comeback. So many people have utterly reinvented themselves and come back from adversity better than before. Why not you? Focus on what a gift it is to be here, on what Huxley called “the miracle…of naked existence.” To be fair, he was tripping his ass off on mescaline – but I think the sentiment still stands.
Last week on the pod, I talked about comparison, competition, and killing your ego. Listen here. I’ll see you in the astral plane.
Stay cosmic,
Lola xx
Needed this ❤️❤️❤️