On Influencing & Not Shopping
This week we're talking about working with brands and not spending money.
Hey everybody! We’re back to our regularly scheduled Sunday post. Last week got ahead of me; I spent it running around getting ready to be a bridesmaid in a dear friend’s wedding over the weekend – which ended up being a Covid superspreader event. WATTBA! I thankfully tested negative (🙏🏾), but here’s a reminder to everyone: hot girls mask up and get vaccinated.
I’m writing this intro on a rainy Saturday night in New York, contacts out, bra off, and pumpkin spice candle burning on my coffee table, which is to say I’m having the most lovely time. I hope your Sunday gives you the same energy.
Now, let’s get into what I’ve been ruminating on this week.
Influencing is Actually Just a Regular Ass Job
The other day, I went to my first influencer event, a brunch in the West Village hosted by a pair of brands announcing a collaboration. When the invite first slid into my DMs, I felt a sizzling little rush of excitement. The message felt like a stamp of approval, legitimizing my fledgling content career – and who can resist a hit of sweet, sweet validation? I spent the days leading up to it scrolling through the fashion inspo videos I typically bookmark and then never look at again, wondering if I should pull an Abbi and revert to one of my go-to feel good outfits, or purchase some aesthetic look to give the illusion of being a perfectly on-trend fashion girl. I’m not, obviously – the midi-length denim skirt I just returned to Mango proves this (I tried to love it, but it just gives Church Girl to me – I’m sorry!) Eventually, I selected a tried and true mini skirt-and-boot combo I’ve repeated many times before, and in the end it made perfect sense: why not wear a uniform to what’s ultimately just a work event?
Before the brunch, I expected sorority recruitment energy, the high-pitched, deliberately nonthreatening “hey girlie!’ vibe on steroids (an experience I am admittedly not an expert in, though I did pledge, join, then drop a sorority within a semester lmao.) There was some of that, to be sure, but honestly the scene reminded me more of the power breakfasts at my old corporate job more than anything else. There was a good mix of vibers and chillers just dipping in for the free food before bouncing, and then were gunners, only instead of asking how much business you bring in and to connect on LinkedIn, they wanted to know your follower count, your niche, and if you were “down to connect on socials!” This familiarity ended up putting me at ease; I know my way around a networking brunch, even if the table we’re surrounding is a perfectly Instagrammable autumnal tablescape and not in a gray boardroom.
I don’t really consider myself an influencer; the term kind of gives me the ick, to be frank, and my forays into branded partnerships are recent. I usually describe myself as a content creator whenever someone asks me about the clownery I get up to on TikTok. It’s all very toMAYto/toMAHto, but the distinction feels significant to me, especially as I am first and foremost a writer (professionally, at least – privately I identify primarily as a goofy bitch.) The influencer machine is subject to a lot of rightfully earned criticism – critiques on overconsumption, encouraging disordered eating behaviors, just straight up making people a lil dumber are all valid– but honestly my takeaway from the event was that influencing is just a regular ass job, especially nowadays with so many people working from home and constantly surveilling themselves just for the vibes.
In some ways it can be worse. Even if everyone at your job hates you, it’s still thankfully unacceptable for your employer to drag you for your appearance, voice, (perceived) relationship status, or the sheer fact that you exist, the way that user27858349843 with the anime profile pic feels entitled to. And, of course, there are the commonly extolled parts – the ever-expanding universe of career opportunities; the ability to set your own schedule; the fact that you can be paid for talking shit into your front-facing camera (a blessing I will never stop being grateful for!). But ultimately, I spend a lot of time creating drafts, addressing notes, and chasing down invoices – which is pretty much exactly what I’ve been doing the last few years as a freelance writer, so thank God for transferable skills I guess. Shout out to being employed!
Shit I Wanna Buy But Shan’t
I can’t lie; I simply love to drop some coin. There are a few reasons for this: I’m a Taurus, the only girl in my family, and a hippie-dippy gal who firmly believes in manifesting. As I’ve said before, you can always count on me to “abundance mindset” my way into purchasing some goods and services. Still, as someone with a fully-developed prefrontal cortex, I can no longer spend freely and feel good about it – having improved impulse control can be annoying af tbh. So here's a list of things I've added to cart before closing the tab. (Please clap for me – remember what I said about validation?)
Jimmy Choo Diamond Tilda 140 Heels ($1175) – these sexed up loafers have been terrorizing me for months. Some quick stats: a 4.5 inch platform heel, gold hardware, and made from a playfully flashy lavender patent leather. Where would I wear these? Trader Joe’s probably, but it doesn’t matter – I want them bad.
JACQUEMUS ‘Le Bambino Long' Bag in Pink ($725) – I’ve only recently become a bag girl, but I can’t stop thinking about Le Bambino, a boxy baguette-style purse that feels lush and grown-up, very rich single auntie vibes. This vibrant peony pink is my favorite color, and while I typically dislike the logo on Jacquemus bags, it feels grounding here, making the bright color more wearable.
Vintage Patrick Kelly Skirt ($299) – this didn’t make it out of my cart and into my closet because of practicality, not nobility: it’s just not in my size 😭. I’m obsessed with Patrick Kelly, the legendary Black American sportswear designer who blended Parisian couture with Black Southern design sensibilities. I’m always on the hunt for his pieces, and I hope this lace and wool skirt from his 1989 A/W collection goes home with someone who deserves her.
Vintage Scandi Midcentury Desk ($956.34) – The kidney shape! The color and grain of the teak! The ability to give a smugly coy smile and tell houseguests that it’s vintage from the ‘60s! Love, love, love.
Olaplex Hair Bonding Oil ($30) – Honestly, I’m sure this is really good for your hair but thirty dollars for a single ounce of some oil? BFFR.
Recently Read & Currently Reading
These are not affiliate links – if that changes, I’ll be sure to let you know.
RR: Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid. This was a buzzy book when it came out back in 2019, and Booktok resurfaced it for me. Set in Philly just before the 2016 presidential election, it follows Emira, a twenty-five-year-old Black woman who gets accused of kidnapping the white child she babysits and the aftermath of the altercation. That makes it sound heavy, but it was a light-hearted quick read, satirizing performative wokeness and allyship while taking jabs at the girlboss culture that dominated the last days of the Obama era (#ImWithHer). Though I personally found the ending slightly lacking, Such A Fun Age is fresh, excellently-paced, and quite fun – all things that make the novel a firm recommend.
Weird Fucks by Lynne Tillman. This slim novella follows a nameless female protagonist through a series of fucks – but honestly, none of them were that weird. Disappointing! Still, the 1982 work is an interesting window to attitudes and cultural mores of the time and Tillman’s prose is thoughtful, sparse, and matter-of-fact in a way I enjoyed.
Psychedelics by Aldous Huxley. Written in 1954, it’s the author’s chronicle of a psychedelic trip on mescaline. I read it for research, and that’s what I’ll say on that.
CR: Nothing at the moment – I finished Such a Fun Age maybe twenty minutes ago – but I was just gifted a copy of Sara Ahmed’s The Feminist Killjoy Handbook. I read her Willful Subjects in college and found it thought-provoking, so I’m excited to dig into this new work on the train.
A Potentially Controversial Opinion, Thoughtlessly Shared
Exactly what it sounds like. I’ll share one of these a week.
No tea, no shade, but Jeremy Allen White (of Shameless and The Bear fame) looks like Bojack Horseman. You can still think he’s fine and you have my full support in doing so, but facts are facts!
That’s all for this week! Until next Sunday,
Lola xx
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