Being Alive is Good Actually
& thoughts on patience and waiting well
Happy Sunday, everybody! I hope you all had a good week. This week kicked me right in the bum, personally, but it’s gone and I’m still here, which is all that really matters. We’ll get into this week’s essay, but first…
Introducing Being Alive is Good Actually, A Positive Affirmations Coloring Book
I’m so excited to share something I’ve been working on for a while – a positive affirmations coloring book! This project has taught me a lot about being patient, but I’m thrilled to finally be able to share it with all of you. Being Alive is Good Actually expands on the affirmations I’ve been sharing on social media for the last few months and pairs them with illustrations by Julia Monson, an artist I love who made these fab Rat Girl Summer illustrations last year. Since then, we’ve been working on this project, and now it’s finally ready.
Being alive is good actually is a mantra that I’ve repeated privately for years to remind myself of how lucky I am to be here and create a life that I love on my own terms – even when it feels like everything is out of my control. When I shared it on social media, I was surprised to see how many other people resonated with it, so I started thinking on what was another way to get more of these little affirmations out there – but we had to keep it fun and cute, because it’s me, duh. And so the idea of a coloring book was born.
The coloring book is fun, femme, and a little silly – all of my favorite things – and I’ve loved working on it, which I feel like you can tell from the final product. Thank you to all the rat girls who made me feel like this was possible and I hope this coloring book becomes another tool in your repertoire to destress, hype yourself up, and remember all the good that life has to offer. Created with love for gals, girls, and gworls of all kinds!
Available here: Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
Now, let’s get into it:
On Patience & Waiting Well
I hate, hate, hate being patient. I've been like this ever since I was a kid, when during family game night, I'd scoop up the dice on other people's turns, tired of waiting for mine to come around. Now, at damn near thirty years old, this trait of mine has not subsided. I sigh and roll my eyes when the train I'm waiting for is more than 2 minutes away; I hover in front of the microwave, watching the timer with the same intensity I used to watch the clock at my old corporate job trying to make five o’clock (or six…or seven) come faster with my mind.
This is why I'm convinced God's up there hehe haha-ing at me all day long, because for whatever reason the one career I truly love is the one with notoriously long timelines: being a writer. When it comes to TV and film, where projects start and stop and rocket forward and meander then stop again, it can take years, sometimes decades, to get the ball rolling – and this is what my impatient ass has decided to pursue, alongside all the other balls I'm trying to keep up in the air. (A goofy decision, I know – but I’ve said many times before that I’m a goofy bitch.)
Sometimes, the work itself is enough to keep me motivated and fulfilled. Others, I feel certain that I will need to achieve an impossible level of zen mastery just to make it through a damn zoom meeting. This feeling is only exacerbated by the fact that writing is so antithetical to my other job, content creation. Content is all go go go, trends flaming hot and dying quickly; notifications climbing by the second and the heady, toxic dopamine rush of going viral always one favorable push from the algorithm away. Ultimately, I'm grateful to have both of these outlets. Content gives me the community, connection, and immediate feedback I crave; writing keeps me grounded, reminds me of the value of delayed gratification, requires me to pause, digest, and synthesize where content rewards the most half-chewed controversial takes. I'm lucky, very lucky, to have both. But man, the fast pace of social media makes writing feel like such a drag sometimes!
I shared this with my mom earlier this week when I was complaining about how long I've been waiting for a certain project to move on to the next level. She was about to respond when I jumped in: “please don't tell me to be patient while I wait. I know.” (Yes, that’s a bratty reply but I was talking to my mommy. Leave me alone!) What she said instead ended up gagging me a bit: “You know, patience isn’t just about waiting. It’s about waiting well.” She ate with that, I fear. Of course, like many times in my life, she's right (but don’t tell her I said that.) There's a huge difference between rolling your eyes and sighing and watching the clock while you moan about how everything's taking so long and, on the other hand, realizing the time is going to pass anyway, accepting that, and making a thoughtful choice on how to spend it.
So what does it mean to wait well? I’m still working that out, but here’s where I’ve landed so far. I can't make decision makers get to my work faster, but I can continue to cultivate a gratitude-oriented mindset that puts me in alignment with what I want (meditation is so key for this, and I’ve slipped on my habit recently, so I know that’s where some of my frustration is coming from.) I can reorient my perspective to think about what lessons I’m supposed to take from this head-down period of working before I break through and quantum leap to the next level. In the last few years I’ve learned so much about what I truly love about this work outside of industry markers of success and external validation, but recently something else has been coming up, a sense of nailing down what I’m called to do – what exactly I’m supposed to be sharing with the world and who I’m supposed to be reaching with my work. This newsletter has been such a big part of that journey, and I’m so grateful to all of you for riding with me as I use this space to figure that out. But yes, learning (always, always, always learning) is a huge part of this.
Lastly, I can continue to put myself out there, to position myself for the right opportunities and, in some cases, create those opportunities. I think the idea of “being patient” often evokes a sense of stillness for many of us, a version of life where we close our eyes and vibe until we get to the reality we want, focusing on keeping our emotions steady and even. And that’s part of it, for sure. But I don’t think waiting well is passive. To wait well is an act, because here's the thing about life, and especially about creative work: no one knows what you can do before you show them. In fact, you don't know what you can do before you show yourself. So while you’re waiting for the outside help you need to show up, you have to take what you can into your own hands. The patience kicks in where you reach the point where it’s beyond you. Then, it will be easier (note that I said easier, not easy) to wait, because you’ve done what you can, and you know you’re on it – and you trust that the universe will rise up to meet you and do the rest. I believe that for me, and for you too. What does waiting well mean for you?
This week the first paid post for Brain Rot went out, a deep dive on the worst men on seasons 1-3 of Sex and The City, alongside some of my thoughts on why commitment isn’t a cure, the dangers of a partner who resents your success but wants to capitalize on it, and shaving your pubes into fun shapes. Getting this done was a saga but so fun to write, and I’ve been loving chatting with you guys about your thoughts in my DMs and emails! I’m back next week with the end-of-month Brain Dump for paid subscribers.
Can you believe that it’s February next week?? This year is speeding by and I do not like it!! I've reached my limit with winter – personally I think it should be cold for the last 2 weeks of December for the vibes and then the snow should pack it up – but unfortunately I’m not running things (yet…). I’m manifesting some kind of tropical vacay for myself, and sending you whatever you need to get through the week. Thanks for reading.
See you next week,
Lola xx